The Friendshop began from an inquiry into what is valuable. That inquiry led to…
The quality of our relationships shapes the quality of our lives.
That can sound simple and intuitive.
In one sense it is.
The longest ongoing longitudinal study by Harvard reaffirms this intuition. The adult study of development has continued for over 85 years (since 1938). In this study researchers have followed the lives of hundreds of individuals and what has been revealed is that:
The quality of our close relationships is the strongest predictor of a long, happy and healthy life.
You are welcome to see more information from the director of the study here:
In this 2015 talk Robert Waldinger, the 4th director of this study comments that “the people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50, were the healthiest at age 80” and that “the good life is built with good relationships.”
As simple as it can sound, we often don’t see this clearly from one moment to the next.
We invest in our health, our careers and our performance because we believe they matter. Yet the relationships that influence each of those areas are often left to evolve within the pace of everyday life.
At one level we all know that relationships are a worthy commitment. Olympians cultivate team culture. Businesses cultivate leadership and collaboration. We intentionally cultivate the environments that influence performance because we believe they matter.
They do matter.
As does the lifelong wellbeing of any individual.
The further the inquiry went, the clearer it became that there were many adverse effects to a lack of quality relationships. Initially coming across the damning statistic that “Loneliness was as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes per day.”
A meta-analysis of 70 prospective studies containing more than 3.4 million participants. In which they found loneliness increased the likelihood of mortality by 26%. Concluding that the mortality risk associated with social isolation/loneliness was comparable to established risk factors.1
The Relationships indicator project by Relationships Australia is a nationally representative survey into the state of relationships in Australia.
Loneliness is increasing and 45.9% of Australians aged 18-24 experienced emotional loneliness. Suggesting that even with an active social life, if quality was lacking emotional loneliness can often be experienced.2
The quality of our relationships doesn't just shape how we feel. It shapes what we can hear.
Most people know this without needing a study. Think of the last time someone told you something you didn't want to hear. Whether it stung or helped had almost nothing to do with what they said, and almost everything to do with who was saying it.
I saw the same thing in sport. A teammate can tell you the truth about your performance and it can land two entirely different ways. If the relationship underneath it is strong, it arrives as care — someone invested enough in you to say the difficult thing. If it isn't, the identical sentence can arrive as threat.
Nothing changes between those two versions except the quality of the relationship.
The research says the same thing. Take this Systematic review on performance feedback literature3:
It seems clear the quality of our relationships is integral if not the central part of our wellbeing, and of our performance.
That was where “The Friendshop” was born.
The Friendshop brings intention and attention to the quality of our relationships.
The pilots have reinforced that it isn’t about fixing people or repairing relationships.
It is about revealing the quality that is already present and allowing it to deepen.
We feel this quality and connection in fleeting moments, and yet it is always there.
However, what we rely on, when it comes to friendship and the quality of our relationships seems to be repetition.
Going to the footy together, run clubs, going for coffee, a walk with friends, a group sauna session or community sport are great containers for connection. Important opportunities for wellbeing. And at times by chance amidst these frequent moments we experience that quality.
However, if the highest context of these experiences is connection to strengthen our wellbeing, it seems without intention we are leaving the quality of these relationships developing to chance. We are still only circling it.
The Friendshop helps us to see things clearly.
So we can lean in with a humour, lightness and deliberateness to exploring the quality of our relationships.
Perhaps it is simply a matter of seeing things clearly. Because when we do it seems to lead to…
The quality of our relationships shapes the quality of our lives.
So, if you have a group of friends who have been to the footy many times, are close or have grown apart a little, you are parents struggling to find the time or are a team at work looking to come closer, this experience has been created to hold that and shown to cultivate connection in the pilot programs.
Hosted out of a cellar door, vineyard and nature in the southwest the experience itself is an embodiment of the concept. (Other locations available on request.)
More information can be found on The Friendshop page, linked here, as can the opportunity to book a spot, or inquire further.
We would love to hear from you.
Jake and Tom
Game Changer Coaching and Mentoring
References:
1. 1. Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D. Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review. Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015 Mar;10(2):227-37. doi: 10.1177/1745691614568352. PMID: 25910392.
2. 2. https://www.relationships.org.au/relationship-indicators/full-report/#loneliness
3. 3. , , and . 2025. “ Performance Feedback: A Critical Systematic Review.” Journal of Organizational Behavior 47, no. 2: 312–361. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.70033.